Edit: just realised that the post before this was never published, but in short, I said "I am crying. My GP says I need a night away on my own. Maybe she is right. Woe is me!"
Well, my plan to have a night away did not come to fruition, though I did get a night out which was good. I got my hair cut and bought some Christmas presents. My hair cut is dreadful, so I have bought myself some hair wrap things to cover it up, but in a way it has been good to take my mind off of all the serious future shit I worry myself sick with.
I guess I still had a taste for 'getting away' in me somewhere, so I suggested we spend the night at my parents' holiday house. We packed some clothes, nappies and DVDs, and left within half an hour or so, leaving behind at least a week's worth of washing, a kitchen full of dirty dishes and a slightly wet and muddy (thanks, kids!) bathroom. Tomorrow, I shall deal with it. Today, I shall enjoy my beautiful family and eat take away.
I suppose as this is a blog about life with Elly B that I should talk about how he has handled our impromptu getaway. I am reluctant to do so as I feel like I have spent 99% of my words here blaming him, or resenting him, or painting some picture of him that is not true to life. So, as a bit if a disclaimer, it has been mostly pleasant and wonderful to have him with me today. Truly and honestly, he is my love and my light.
He was keen as mustard to go "on holidays" and was the first to pack his bag. He poured basically the entire contents of his drawers in to his backpack, along with a few other random bits and pieces. He bought with him 8 or 9 pairs of stretchy pants, 2 t-shirts (both dirty), a jumper, a hoodie, love heart undies, 5 pairs of socks (he very, very rarely wears socks), some skylander figurines, a roll of Christmas sticky tape, a Video Ezy catalogue, a toothbrush (very sensible!), waterbombs, and who knows what else! Just, you know, the essentials ;) Bless. He was wonderful in the car, talking to us about different kinds of spiders, and about Christmas, while M slept. It was lovely. I tried to go to the supermarket, and he started crying. This happens when we come up to the holiday house (which, albeit, is not very often). He is happy in the house itself, but very teary and anxious about the unfamiliar shopping centres, parks and supermarkets. We decides to just come straight to the house and order pizza for lunch, which he was much happier with.
My brother just moved out of the house and had left a huge basket full of Pokemon toys (kind of an obsession of my brother's, but that is a story for another day.) It was a spectacular discovery as E has very recently started getting interested in Pokemon. He didn't want to play with them, or even look at them. He just wanted them near him, safely tucked away in their basket, while he busied himself with other things. He pushed his sister away if she went near them, or screamed at her. We explained he must share them, which made him fidget uncomfortably, but he would pass one to her in the end. She would play for a while, but as soon as she put the Pokemon toy down, he would race over, scoop it up, and place it back in the basket. This was basically the only activity that took place this afternoon, barring an attempt by husband-face and I to build a train track with him. He stole the pieces from his sister and made one long, wavy track across the room. He didn't want to run the train on it, but didn't want anyone else to either.
We took then to the video shop which he was keen on because he had bought the catalogue along! Hooray! He picked 3 DVDs for himself: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Yugio (sp?) and a Scooby Doo film. We have never seen Yugio (gah should google), but he liked the look of it. We watched a bit of TMNT and he turned the TV off after 10 minutes or so. We haven't tried the others yet.
Bed time for him was a little heart breaking, as he was asking to go home. He cried and hid under the blanket, sobbing himself to sleep while I lay with him. I told him I was too tired to drive home, but we could go in the morning. He just wanted his own bed which I think is understandable.
For now, I feel more relaxed, less angry, more forgiving. It is a good feeling and I hope it lasts for a good, long while.
Good night.
No comments:
Post a Comment